Tough LoveS

Dear Gawker-for-Girlies,

"I'm a fantastic handsome guy with a huge big cock and a bulging wallet. Did I mention the huge big cock? Anyway, I keep taking these whores out for dinner and talking about my huge big cock and my bulging wallet and how handsome I am, and the bitches won't put out. How can I ever find true love?"

Dear Cock,

Buy a blow-up doll. Not only will she match your intellect, she'll give you all the emotional support you deserve.

Hugs,

Gawker-for-Girlies.

No-one loves me
[The Times]