Nicole Richie Collapses Again, World Manages to Keep Turning Somehow

Over at Us Magazine, they report on Nicole Richie's latest 'collapse from exhaustion', and pretend they actually care, and they're not waiting for her to overdose and die because that would be a completely fucking great story and they'd totally pay, like, $40,000 for the exclusive rights to grainy photos of her corpse.

And below the story, all the mentally-ill readers of Us Magazine come out to play with variations on the 'Nicole Richie is a beautiful talented inspiration to all us fat people who haven't left our trailers in ten years' and the 'Shut the fuck up, she's a stupid druggie slut!' ranters.

However, we feel our take on the matter is admirably summed up by 'Anonymous' at 4.50am:

"Nicole is mousey. I think all girls named Nicole are mousey. Every Nicole I have ever known looks like a damn mouse. And they're always small, petite, no personality, and look underfed. Maybe it's a conspiracy. Let it be known, if you want your child to look like a mouse, name it Nicole."

Andrea Peyser couldn't have frothed it better.

[Nicole Richie collapses again] Us Weekly