We love a trash-talking, here's-how-it-is, pulls-no-punches funny lady. But then we read this interview with comic Lisa Lampanelli on Radar's website and we began rethinking our position on bawdy broads. Lisa was sort of racist, but in an unfunny way. Plus, she seemed to think very highly of herself, which is never good a good trait in a comic, in our estimation. (We prefer our comics self-loathing, insecure, and aware of it, dammit).
We admit: We've never seen Lampanelli in action (either in person or on TV) but Jesus Christ: this woman is a piece of work! (And it's not because she describes a black boyfriend's uncircumcised penis as "a big earthworm.")
But then Lisa redeemed herself with the following anecdote about facing down a group of the kind of flat-ironed, Cosmo-drinking, idiotic bitches that we love to hate. And we had a change of heart.
Like, there was this group of girls at Caroline's from one of those fucking bachelorette parties that think the world revolves around them because she snared a fucking husband and they're so special and this and that. I can tell this whole group of girls was getting the audience around them annoyed. So I said, "Ladies, come on, seriously, you have to be quiet 'cause there's like 500 people in here, man." And it was said nicely, not cunty; I said, "Please, one more word, and I'm really going to have to get rid of you, I'm sorry." I said it nice.
And one of them challenged me, because there's always some cunt who has to challenge me who thinks they're funnier. And the fucking angry Lisa came out... I psychoanalyze them—"I know your little fucking MO. You live off your husbands, you don't appreciate anybody who has to work for a living, which I fucking do and all these other people do, and you have to be the center of attention because you didn't get any fucking attention in high school."
We suspect it's Lisa who didn't get any fucking attention in high school, but no matter. Neither did we.
Diary Of A Mad White Woman [Radar]