Toxic Bachelor

Beware to those ladies who fancy New York Giants player Amani Toomer; the gridiron guy seems to be looking for a woman born in another century. Although The New York Post's report about his divorce from Yola Dabrowski chose to play up the allegation that Yola had up to four abortions against her husband's wishes, we were more intrigued by just what a unevolved crybaby Amani seems to be. Herewith, the big three qualities Amani's looking for in a mate:

1. Must be a baby-making machine

Toomer, 32, alleges his wife refused to have the "big family" they had discussed before getting married in a Las Vegas civil ceremony in October 2002."

2. Must take his last name and serve as domestic .

The footballer also alleges that Dabrowski, 34, refused to change her last name to Toomer [Who would? -Ed.] and won't cook, clean or take medication to treat her depression.

3. Must possess no sense of humor.

Toomer's filings also include claims that his wife...does not like watching his games, and often ridicules instead of praises his play. She "even had the audacity to poke fun...when he made a catch [and] stumbled without being tackled," he alleges.

Sigh. We can't wait for baseball season to start.