If you'd like to know what it's like to get buttock implants, then read this. It's a sad little tale about one woman's obssession with her saggy behind, and, more interestingly, her obvious low self-esteem.

"It affected my confidence because I wanted to look curvaceous in tight-fitting clothes and swimwear and for men to admire my silhouette and think what a great rear I had. But I knew this was never going to be the case.

.....I'd spend days on holiday peering longingly at round-bottomed beauties on the beach from behind my sunglasses, while I dreaded getting up from my sunlounger, knowing my own bikini bottoms had nothing so voluptuous to hang on to.

.....I continued to stand in front of the mirror pulling the skin about to try and imagine how I'd look with a protruding, firm bottom."

Hey, we can relate. We look shit in a bikini too, but we don't think we're going to be slicing through our buttocks, into our gluteus maximus and shoving whoopee cushions full of goo in our bums. Not for a few years, anyway.

Ageing gracefully is for losers [Daily Mail]