This woman actually makes us regret every nasty thing we ever said about Britney. That takes some doing.

It's the question bouncing around the webosphere today: Britney - victim or deranged slut?

Looks like the NY Post, for one, just can't make up its mind.

Details after the jump.

We kind of like Cindy Adams, even if we haven't a clue what the old dear is burbling on about half the time, but we especially warm to her today as she defends the troubled singer, and nobly forgoes the term 'pop tart':

"Oddly enough, Britney the Baldie is not neglecting the kids as much as it seems. There's a bunch of qualified caretakers for the two children, and she spends daytime with them until she goes out. Or passes out. She does not leave them behind when she hits New York or Vegas. She's not neglectful and does worry about their well-being, even if she's screwed up her own. It's her mother who can't handle the child she brought into the world."

Nicely put Cindy, even if you DO end up rather predictably blaming the mother. Hey, last time we checked Britney's dad was still alive, so why not go after him? It takes TWO to tango your way to a drug-addled bald popstar daughter. Still, good effort.

But just when we think our misogynist friends at the Post have gone all soft on us, Andrea Peyser comes to the rescue with the kind of vitriol that could strip paint from your porch at twenty paces:

"Britney Spears must be stopped. Now!

She's finally done it. Britney has demonstrated to every sentient being inhabiting this planet that she does not possess the adult capacity to care for a cactus, let alone human children.

The head-shaving, tattoo-loving, cheap-wig-wearing mother of the year has staged a public yelp for help. An evidently addled Brit has confused the top of her noggin with her privates - shaving her crown as poorly as the sad naughty parts she has exposed with manic frequency."

Way to go, Andrea! You've certainly got our attention now.

"And now it's been revealed that a week before she attacked her head with a razor, Britney lied to her nanny while in New York - as if she were the spoiled child, not a full-fledged mommy - that she was going out to Duane Reade.

Then, she proceeded to stage an all-night bacchanalia with the likes of a bouncer, strippers and trannies. Imagine - even in this company, Britney was the freak."

What's your point here Andrea? Is lying to the nanny worse than convorting with strippers? Or are they both equally bad? Maybe we should ask your Page Six colleague Richard Johnson, as we're pretty sure he's done both in his time.

"She has gone way too far. A stray cat makes a better parent. K-Fed is a better mother."

You're just having a laugh now, aren't you Andrea, you crazy, crazy thing!

"Britney has all but published skywriting, screaming that she's become dangerously unglued. There should be a sign tattooed on her forehead, warning that this creature must, at all costs, be kept at least 500 feet from all forms of life, human and vegetable. And especially children."

Oh fuck it, let's just cut off her breasts and stab her vagina and then burn her, eh Andrea? Isn't that what you'd really like to do to her? Because it sure fucking sounds that way.

She means well
[NY Post]
She doesn't [NY Post]