"MY wife runs our home like a military operation. It has to be like this as we have three children all under 12 and she works full time as a beautician. We spend lots of time with the children, playing, reading and having outings but I wish we could find some space to be a couple.
We have a great family and a lovely, neat home yet our marriage seems non-existent. By the time the children go to bed we're both usually tired out and go straight to sleep. We hardly ever have sex.
Most frustrating is that my wife doesn't seem to notice or care about this. I agree with her that our children should come first but I wish she could see our relationship needs some tender loving attention as well. What can I do?"
Dear Selfish Fucking Bastard,
Why not try doing the washing-up once in a while you big fat waste of space?
Also, you are really bad in bed. She's not THAT tired.