We're angry. Find out why after the jump.

You know how very occasionally, maybe once every five years, someone will take a picture of you that doesn't make you look like a shiny deranged rat? And you treasure that photo, and pour over it obssessively because it actually makes you think you might not be as fat and ugly as you think you are?

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Yeah. We do that too, because a) we don't look like Uma Thurman, and b) we don't have regular access to professional make-up artists and c) no-one airbrushes US to within an inch of our life whenever we're photographed.

So Uma 'I'm so fucking gorgeous I could melt icebergs with my smile' Thurman, we have just one thing to say to you: Shut the fuck up.

"Movie beauty UMA THURMAN says she is virtually NEVER chatted up by fellas.

The Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill star, 36, said: 'Men chat me up pretty rarely — and certainly not the right sort.

I'm not sure what the right sort is but they would not use any cheesy chat-up lines. I have heard quite a few of those.

"The worst has to be, 'Has anyone ever told you you look like Uma Thurman?'

Uma said she felt ugly as a teenager. She added: 'When I was young no boy ever liked me.'

If you're looking for sympathy, bitch, you've come to the wrong place.