March '07 MagHag: Marie Claire Full of Marc Jacobs Whores Just Like Everyone Other Magazine. Plus: Introducing MagHag Stickers!

Marie Claire tries, it really does. Unlike other women's magazines of its kind, it features affordable clothes and accessories. It acknowledges that there's a world beyond the 9,800,000 square kilometers between the coast of California and the coast of Massachusetts. And it has more of a love-to-hate relationship with regards to dieting and exercise than the hateful, love-to-love tone we find in titles from Cosmopolitan to Harper's Bazaar.

For all its good intentions and powerful-woman motivational-speak, the magazine's March 2007 issue lost us only a fifth of the way in, thanks to its I LOVE LUCITE Shopping Wish List on page 66. (We won't even get into the horrendous cover photo of Hilary Swank clad in what looks to be the Ralph Lauren dress Gwyneth Paltrow wore when she won the Oscar in 1999).

We'd expect something like this from Vogue. But it looks like even Marie Claire's realistic-minded editors have collectively lost their heads over this season's new Lucite trend in accessories. Apparently, all you have to do to get past the magazine's fashion police is slap Marc Jacobs' or Brian Atwood's names on a set of clear-plastic heels, charge $900-1200 for them, and you're good to go, stripper-aesthetic be damned.

In other news, we're proud to introduce MAGHAG STICKERS, in which we rip-off Lucky magazine's popular advertiser-friendly page of adhesives so that you can print — and then mark and read — the only pages worth reading in every women's monthly magazine. To download your girly-hued, non-advertiser-friendly YESes and MAYBEs, click here, then read on for a list of page numbers and our corresponding votes.

Page 34: MAYBE. (No mention of Hilary Swank's trailer-park beginnings! Plus: Pretty peonies!)
Page 36: YES. (Free shit!)
Page 56: YES. (Cute shoes!)
Page 74: MAYBE. (Three design-names from the past, resurrected!).
Page 90: YES. (Learn about women from different parts of the developing world while maintaining holier-than-thou feeling!).
Page 104: MAYBE. (Cringe as essayist/comedian Ali Wentworth use way too many question marks in attempt to be funny!)
Page 115: YES. (Cheer on Susie Orbach as she rails against the dieting industry!).
Page 142: YES. (This fashion spread is purely for laughs!)
Page 154: MAYBE. (Stew with jealousy over fact Hilary Swank can eat fried cheese sticks and maintain figure! Roll eyes one page later when trailer-park beginnings are brought up!).
Page 190: MAYBE. (Rejoice in whole spread of dresses under $100! Deflate once you realize most are ugly!).
Page 193: YES. (Nice layout!)
Page 218: YES. (Collage! Makeup!)