There are two things that People magazine does really well: suck up to celebrities and chronicle the lives of inspirational cripples. When it comes to service journalism though, their grip is a tad less firm, as demonstrated by their holidays inspired Ultimate Gift Guide, which could double as a handy way to permanently piss-off any friends or family members you've grown tired off. Examples after the jump.

For that suffocating over-controlling father who's cost you thousands in therapy over the years, how about a nice 'Pycho striped skull with bunny ears tie:

A snip at $110! And even if he does wear it, you'll have the satisfaction that people will think he's a jerk wherever he goes. Score!

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Hey mom! I'm gay.And I hate you. Now have some fucking dominoes:

They only cost me £38, so what the fuck.

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You know that coworker two cubes over? The one who won't SHUT THE FUCK UP about her wedding which is still TWO FUCKING YEARS AWAY?

Sharpies! Take that, you mindless witch! $25 was never so well spent.


Best friend become rather needy? Tiresome? Calling you in tears at 2am whining about some jerk you don't care about? Or is she simply ugly and boring? Time to cull, girls. Be ruthless.

Yeah! a $60 pencil mug. Because nothing says 'I don't care about you any more' than a pencil mug. Doubles as quick and easy boyfriend dumping device too!