Come the revolution, sister............

Former model and ever so slightly uglier sister of supermodel Jemima, Jemma Kidd is interviewed in this month's Vogue, on the absolute essentials every house should have to ensure it's more than just a pile of bricks - it's a home.

Amongst the must-have-or-you're-shit items are a $2,700 Luisa Beccaria floral dress, a $500 bunch of flowers, $33 soap and at least four $175 tea trays.

A $350 splurge on a pair of once-in-a-lifetime Manolos I can understand. Guilty as charged, your honor. But a $175 tea tray? A frigging tea tray? Ain't no-one gonna fuck me for wearing that.

People like Jemma aren't like you and me. They never turn right on a plane, have never cleaned a toilet in their lives, and actually do have homes in New York, Paris and London. They don't shop where we shop, vacation where we vacation or send their kids to school in our neighborhood. Their servants do.

Thank God for Vogue, or we wouldn't even know they existed. Which would be simply awful.