Ah, Chrissy Teigen. TV host. Model. Entrepreneur. Social media queen. Author. Criminal? Yes, criminal! It appears that Ms. Teigen, host of Lip Sync Battle and author of my favorite celebrity cookbook of the year (I made her mashed cauliflower for the billionth time on Sunday, and damn it was good), violated a federal statute prohibiting the obstruction of correspondence. You know, the one that makes it illegal to open someone else’s mail.
While being grilled on the popular daytime court show Ellen, Teigen succumbed to the relaxed atmosphere so deftly created by master interrogator Ellen DeGeneres and accidentally confessed to opening the mail of one Robyn Rihanna Fenty, a musician who used to live in Teigen’s home.
“You know that’s illegal, right?” DeGeneres asked.
“Is it?” Teigen responded, with a hint of concern in her voice. “But it’s my house now.”
After the audience erupted with laughter that was no doubt caused by the tremendous discomfort of watching a celebrity admit such an egregious crime on national television, Teigen asked DeGeneres if her confession would be “edited.”
“Yes, we will be editing this,” lied DeGeneres.
If Ms. Fenty chooses to prosecute, Teigen faces a fine and/or “not more than five years” in prison. Please go easy on her, Rihanna. I don’t want to go that long without seeing her Snapchat stories.