It's not that the celebrity weeklies think that you won't believe them - heaven forbid!
It's just that, well, when really interesting facts are thin on the ground (Is Demi pregnant? Dunno, but she's wearing Galliano today), you've got to run with what you have. Which is usually what they had for lunch, or how they blew their nose at 3.17pm precisely, as observed by a reporter parked across the bar from them.
All the weeklies had flacks chasing celebrity groupie and TREACHEROUS WHORE Denise Richards as she followed new love Richie Sambora on the Bon Jovi tour to Dublin. Unable to gain access to their bedroom to note how often, how long and in what positions, the reporters fall on back on the old staples - mundane overheards and menu lists.
At least Us Weekly managed to get them making out by the pool, but not before telling us the amazing story that:
"Richards, 35, began teasing Sambora, 46, about his sunburn. 'He was joking about it too, and she was cracking up,' says an onlooker."
HIlarious. I must say.
But don't worry, Us soon gets around to what you really want to know. That's right. What they ate for dinner while dining at the 'pricey' bistro Restaurant Patrick Guilbaud.
"While noshing on salmon, deep-fried capers and bois bourdon sauce, Richards and Sambora Joked about the eatery's 70-page-long wine list. Richards passed on dessert."
Ah. How sweet. Unless......
It's lies, all lies!
According to Star:
"The couple....ate at upscale Restaurant Patrick Guilbaud. Dining on sea bass and asparagus, and lamb with a caviar of eggplant and piquillo peppers, along with plenty of wine,"
Well? Which is it? Salmon or sea bass? Capers or lamb? Wine, or jokes?
Heads should roll over this.