A directioner's dream becomes a directioner's nightmare in 1D's video for "Night Changes," the latest single to drop off their new album Four. Directed by Ben Winston (who has gotten no love from One Direction fans in the past), the video takes you on a series of point-of-view dates with Harry, Zayn, Liam, Niall and Louis that all start off romantic and then go terribly awry.

Zayn takes you to a romantic restaurant and treats you like a queen.

Liam takes you to a carnival and is super fucking smug about it.

Harry takes you ice skating and even ties your laces for you.

Here's Louis taking you on some boring-ass drive.

And Niall invites you over for tea and board games (more like bored games, lol).

THEN DISASTER STRIKES.

Your other boyfriend—who's a real thug jerk—crashes your date with Zayn and pours water all over his beautiful hair.

Liam horks. (By the way, Ben Winston, I would never wear that ugly hat.)

Harry attempts to spin you on the ice, resulting in a broken ankle for you and broken arm for him. (Bright side: his and hers casts.)

Louis gets pulled over, demonstrates EXTREME WHITE PRIVILEGE and gets arrested.

And Niall starts a fire. He made you play Monopoly, so he probably deserves it.

And then you all bang, but I guess that part got cut out.