Channing Tatum, the kindest and most affable bro to ever walk the face of the earth, went on the Ellen show and told Ellen Degeneres that he's currently "very 'fappy' [which means] very fat and happy right now." He added, "I've been working for two straight years, and now it's some really needed downtime with my family."
A few months ago, the tabloids made a big dumb scene about Channing's (we are on a first name basis) weight gain. His response — kinda going, "Meh, whatever, I'm no longer a rippling pile of muscles, loosely covered by a layer of epidermis and a sexy bolo tie, but literally who cares; I'm having a great time just livin' my life, you fools" — is great.
He also spoke about passing his Sexiest Man Alive title off to Adam Levine: "I think the only thing that you really pass on is the ability for your friends to just make complete fun of you for the rest of your life." [HuffPo]
The L.A. County D.A. is strongly recommending that Justin Bieber be prosecuted for felony vandalism for egging his neighbor's house. TMZ also has a video taken mid-attack, and it plays exactly like the trailer for one of those DIY horror movies that the kids love so much these days: family moves into idyllic suburb, ready to start over, only to be stalked by a malicious pop singer in drop-crotch pants who creeps through the night like a wayward spirit. [TMZ]
In absolutely devastating news, Amy Adams went on Inside the Actor's Studio and broke down sobbing when asked about Philip Seymour Hoffman. According to someone in the audience: "Amy talked about how he was the greatest actor she had worked with, and couldn't even tell stories about him without crying. She said to the audience of acting students 'I wish you all could have had the chance to work with him.'" Such a horrible, tragic loss. [Us]
- Prince wants to charge "about $10" for concert tickets. [Billboard]
- LINDSAY LOHAN RAN INTO DAMIAN FROM MEAN GIRLS ON THE STREET AND THEY TOOK A PHOTO TOGETHER. [Dlisted]
- Ok, I don't know anything about this Lego movie because I'm a grown-ass person, but apparently Liam Neeson is in it and he plays an angry cop who is also a Lego. [E!]
- The elusive Burt Jenner (brother to Brody and Brandon, oh, I'm sorry, have you never searched for the lesser-known Jenner brothers on LinkedIn?) went "ballistic" on a group of paparazzi. [Gossip Cop]
- Reese Witherspoon and Naomi Watts shared dark and esoteric secrets with one other after yoga. [Just Jared]
- Victoria's Secret model Doutzen Kroes is pregnant, which she announced with a beautiful nude pregnancy photo on Instagram. [Page Six]
- Dakota Johnson ison the cover of March's Elle; it would suck to get famous for being in Fifty Shades of Grey because apparently that means you have to dress like a frightened woman attending an old-timey Easter party in sexy tights forever. [Page Six]
- George Clooney says Sandra Bullock is an "unbelievable mom." You cannot BELIEVE the kind of mom Sandra Bullock is. You won't be able to wrap your fragile mind around it. [People]
- Anne Hathaway walked by a store that sells bondage equipment. That's it. That's the whole story. [Perez Hilton]
- Aaron Carter is no longer bankrupt. [Radar]
- Kylie Jenner hung out with Lil Za in Justin Bieber's kitchen whilst the Biebs was away. GET OUT OF THAT HOUSE, LIL ZA AND KYLIE! IT IS A PLACE OF EVIL! [The Hollywood Gossip]