Last night, the 56th annual Grammys took place. It is an event in which golden cornucopias are handed out to famous singers and music-creators, but mostly it is meant to facilitate Taylor Swift's dancing.
Most of your favorite celebrities were there (where is Rihanna though???), and Pharrell wore the most important hat of the century. Let's get to it:
Beyoncé looked completely amazing in a sheer white Michael Costello gown with delicate floral detailing. This is definitely one of the best looks of the night (duh).
Katy Perry was wearing this ridiculous tulle dress WITH MUSIC NOTES ON IT. Oddly enough, it is Valentino (not a shower curtain), and it was on the runway just days ago.
Taylor Swift wore gold Gucci and looked, as usual, very beautiful and elegant and composed. Unfortunately, her makeup looks like what would happen if you got me drunk and dropped me off in a Sephora.
Ciara was glowing — in the pregnancy sense, in the literal sense (via a bedazzled Pucci gown), and also just glowing in general because she is insanely beautiful.
Madonna wore a Ralph Lauren suit and grills and what appears to be a chainmail hand cozy.
Madonna and child, 2014. The suits were David Banda's idea!
Robin Thicke (unconfirmed as to whether he still has eyes beneath those omnipresent aviators) with Paula Patton, who is again taking an awards show Fashion Risk. I don't hate it, but I think that everyone else on the Internet seems to.
Radiant in red: Tamara Braxton in looks stunning in a slinky dress; Miranda Lambert wore a plunging custom Pamela Rolland number; P!nk also went the sultry-slinky-red route.
Bonnie McKee wore a blue gown with a long train, and it was comprised of a weird prom-y fabric and nothing to write home about; Anna Faris sported a beautiful Fitriani bustier gown and looked fairly perfect; Alicia Keys wore Armani Privé with a veeeeeery plunging neckline.
Rita Ora looked very space age in Lanvin; Chrissy Teigen effused glamor in a glittery Johanna Johnson gown and looked flawless (CHRISSY TEIGEN FOR BEST DRESSED); Anna Kendrick wore a revealing-cum-elegant pastel dress by Azzaro with floral appliques, which are everywhere all of a sudden.
I have deemed that these three are in a coven together because they all look beautiful and witchy and all have varying degrees of cape action going on: Cyndi Lauper in Alexander McQueen; Mary Lambert, while technically not clad in a cape, keeps the capey spirit alive in her skirt; Kelly Osbourne in Badgley Mishka — wearing a cross necklace on her back.
Speaking of witchy fashion: Fantasia Barrino in black lace; Faith Evans slinky snakeskin pattern; Louise Roe in a fairly standard little black dress — yawn — with cut-outs — yawn again.
Beauteous couples! Gary Clark, Jr. and Nicole Trunfio; Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose — wearing a gorgeous Naeem Kahn gown and a ton of cover-up over her arm tattoos; Corinne Bishop and Jamie Foxx.
Sarah Hyland black-and-white color blocking; Judith Hill, also in black-and-white color blocking but with added sequins; Ariana Grande wearing a flouncy floral dress, as usual.
Today in meh: Giuliana Rancic; Colbie Caillat in a ripped-up feather boa; Natasha Bedingfield wearing an off-orange bedskirt as atop.
Daft Punk looking like a pair of French dads in robot costumes; Jared Leto and Friends all standing in the shadow of Jared Leto's ombre hair; Yoko Ono and Sean Lennon wearing hats that are not Pharrell's hat.
Ozzy Osbourne lookin' like a guilty warlock; Steven Tyler lookin' like a shifty-eyed magician; Ryan Lewis and Macklemore in their formal velvets.
And, in bad: Paris Hilton wearing a very confusing garment; Sara Bareilles in a formal owl costume.
I know you all came here for Pharrell's hat. Here you are. THE THREE BEST LOOKS OF THE NIGHT. If someone can get me a picture of an actual Grammy award inside the hat, I will PayPal you $50.
Images via Getty.