The Boston College Confessions Facebook page usually serves as an anonymous forum for BC kids to let off some steam, a place to air their PG-rated unflattering private thoughts in public. Harmless, cheap web therapy. But yesterday, the site posted a confession that's so awful I'm literally shaking after reading it — a male student admitted that he'd raped three of his female classmates, that he enjoyed it, and that he was afraid he'd do it again. Then, after everyone was done throwing up all over themselves, he admitted he made the whole thing up.
It's hard to determine which is most horrifying about Boston College Confession #7122 ordeal: the part that the male student author of the post describes the commission of three rapes without once using the word "rape," the part where he attempts to justify the fact that he is a serial predator by blaming his predatory sociopathy on women for not paying attention to him when he was younger, the part where he talks about how much he enjoys rape, or the part where the whole thing turned out to be a hoax. Here's the post in its entirety, if you can stomach it.
#7122: I've never told anyone this, but I can no longer hold it in. Being that I am not a very social guy, nor am I particularly good looking, girls don't tend to flock my way, which can be very discouraging, especially at a time in my life when a lot of self worth is judged based on success with the opposite gender. I always think a girl likes me, but it always turns out that she is just infatuated with my best friend and roommate. I never told him this, but I thought that 3 out of the last 4 girls that he has dated were into me first. Two of them told me that they liked me, and one even kissed me; both of them were just playing with me though, just to get to him. I don't blame him because it's not his fault; I just wish that I didn't have to get hurt by the girls he attracts. Anyway, as you can imagine, this left me rather depressed and lonely. I've never had a relationship, and up until college, the only girl I had kissed was the one who was toying with me. During the first few weeks at school, my friend kept telling me about all the girls that he was either hooking up with at parties or hanging out with during the week. Who had I gotten with? No one. By the end of the first semester, all I wanted was a real experience with a girl. Obviously, I wanted something sexual, actually I was craving something sexual, but when I would dream about girls at night, I only had visions of taking a girl on a date, and forming a real relationship. But who could love me? I've determined that I am not worth a girl's time. And you can't force a girl to love you. Or if you can, I haven't figured it out yet. But regardless, my story isn't about love. My story is about sex. My roommate, during the first week of the second semester, brought back two girls to the room. The three of them were really drunk. Being that I had to get up early the next day for a meeting, I decided not to drink that Friday night. Anyway, so at some point in time, my roommate and one of the girls went to her room, upstairs, and the other girl stayed in my room. I tried to entertain her, but she was very drunk and wasn't being responsive. I told her just to lie in my roommate's bed and get some rest. When I tried to lay her down, she pulled me closer, and I mistook her motion as an attempt to kiss me, so I kissed her. At first she resisted, but between her fatigue and disarray, she gave in to it. We had sex that night. I used one of my roommate's condoms, but to my horror, when I finished, I came to the disturbing realization that she had passed out at some point during the experience. Did I just do what I think I did? The thought horrified me. I needed to talk to the girl about it in the morning when she woke up, just to clarify that it was never my intent to do that to her. I just got caught up in the moment. No girl has ever given me attention, so in this situation, I finally was able to get what I wanted. I put her clothes back on her (which was more difficult than you'd think) and tucked her into my roommate's bed. When she woke up the next morning, she asked me who I was and why she was in my room. She had no recollection of the prior night. I was thankful, because this meant that I didn't have to apologize. I told her that she came in with my roommate and passed out in his bed around 1 am. She thanked me for being a gentleman, which I chuckled at under my breath. For the next couple of weeks, all I could think about was what I did, and more importantly, how I got away with it. I see this girl all over campus, and she always says hi. She will never know what I did to her. At first this troubled me, but eventually, I became obsessed and almost proud of it. The thought clouded me head... could I get away with it again? Sure enough another opportunity came my way by the end of last semester. At a mod party, I was with a group of friends when one of my friends and his girlfriend both started to feel sick. My roommate was there and was able to get the guy back to his dorm, and I, being the only other competent person in the group, walked back my friend's girlfriend to her room in 66. When I got her to her room, she puked in her trash can a bit and eventually passed out on her bed. Being that I was slightly drunk at this point, my judgment was compromised, and I did something that I am still ashamed of. I took advantage of her, and what troubles me is that I enjoyed every minute of it. It wasn't until the moment that I finished, that I suddenly was struck with intense feelings of shame and remorse. But yet again, I had gotten away with it. I left an hour later when her roommate came in. I told her that I was just taking care of her and that was that. Hurriedly, I ran out of the building, but I didn't go back to my room. I wondered to the reservoir, and in the thickets of a few trees, I cried myself to sleep. I couldn't believe what I had become. I woke up in the morning to the sound of joggers. Embarrassed and hungover, I trudged back to my room. Over the summer, I sought out counseling, but when I told my parents that I needed someone to talk to, I could never tell them why, so I never got the help that I needed. When I came back here, I hoped that my desires would remain dormant, but we've been back at school for a month and I've already had another experience, and what trouble me is that this time, she wasn't asleep. She was very drunk and I don't know how much she remembers, but I forced her this time. I know I did. I'm scared for myself, and I worry about the girl. I don't know what I should do. On the one hand, I know that I need to get help, but on the other hand, I can't help but be driven to do it again. I have these self-consuming thoughts that I don't think I'll ever be able to control. What should I do?
Understandably, people were upset that this long, loving ode to rape was published by a widely-read page that utilizes a two-step submission process to anonymize reader submissions; someone approved and posted #7122 with the understanding that the story was real. With the understanding that the women mentioned in the story might read it an identify themselves as victims. I'm no rape victim expert, but my spidey sense is telling me that if I were sexually victimized by a subhuman monster, the last place I'd want to find out about it would be via a Facebook posting detailed enough for me to identify myself. And even though BC Confessions turned over all of the information they had on the submission to police within hours of the post going live, the forum left the post up for almost an entire day.
And here's where the story takes another fucked up turn: last night, a student came forward and admitted that he made the whole thing up. From BC's independent student newspaper The Heights,
“Boston College officials were alerted to this concerning posting late yesterday afternoon,” said Dean of Students Paul Chebator in an email Wednesday morning. “Student Affairs and BC Police conferred and commenced an investigation. Yesterday evening a student came in on his own to BCPD and admitted that the entire post was a hoax. The student appeared quite remorseful, nevertheless, this matter will be referred to the Student Conduct System for resolution as it is an egregious violation of our Community Standard.”
"Quite remorseful." Oh, thank you, Dean of Students Paul Chebator, for that information that in no way negates the fact that the student is a piece of human garbage.
The Dean of Students' statement didn't detail how the BCPD was certain that the post was made up and that the sooper dooper sorrypants post author wasn't lying to cover up actual crimes; the acts that #7122 describes happen with depressing regularity to women both on and off college campuses. I'd hope authorities talking Mr. 7122's whereabouts, his friends, his friends' girlfriends and taking this as seriously as a real confession; even though everyone would obviously prefer if the specific events in the confession didn't take place, a dark corner of my mind isn't convinced that they didn't.