L.A. Private Schools Employ Celebrity Photographers for Yearbook Pics

Some L.A. private schools are bringing in celebrity photographers for portrait day. Is this supposed to shock me? Color me not shocked.

As a graduate of two L.A. private schools that encouraged talking about feelings and celebrity endorsements in equal measure, I think it’s cute that “Vince Bucci, who has taken wedding portraits for the likes of Kim Kardashian and Avril Lavigne, is gearing up for picture days at Wildwood School and Westside Neighborhood School,” according to The Hollywood Reporter. “Meanwhile, New York-based Dennis Kleiman, whose subjects have included Denis Leary, The White Stripes and Ozzy Osbourne, founded Stomping Ground Photo with an aim to bring an editorial edge to those Sears-like picture packages. Hollywood Schoolhouse, Temple Israel of Hollywood and The Willows all hire him.” UNIMPRESSED!

“Last year we had a parent apply to the school just based on the amazing photos in the yearbook,” said Lisa Smith, photography teacher at Hollywood Schoolhouse. (Was the photo of a Harvard diploma?)

Look: the variety shows at my elementary school were dubbed. Like, we recorded at a studio first and then lip-synched to our own voices, because GOD FORBID any kid messed up and there was an agent in the audience. A-list celebrities directed and starred in our fundraising videos. Once Shaq came and filmed a commercial during P.E., for mysterious reasons I can’t recall.

This was all in the ’90s, too; schools today need to step their game up. Hire Judd Apatow to be the Yearbook’s creative director. Hire paparazzi to come during recess so you can make tuition even more expensive and your wait list even more exclusive. Blue Ivy doesn’t need your charity.